4th October 2013
Post with 120 notes
“I am surprised by how much sex I have had in my life that I didn’t want to have. Not exactly what’s considered “real” rape, or “date” rape, although it is a kind of rape of the spirit - a dishonest portrayal or distortion of my own desire in order to appease another person.
I said yes because I felt it was too much trouble to say no. I said yes because I didn’t want to have to defend my “no,” qualify it, justify it - deserve it. I said yes because I thought I was so ugly and fat that I should just take sex every time it was offered, because who knew when it would be offered again. I said yes to partners I never wanted in the first place, because to say no at any point after saying yes for so long would make our entire relationship a lie, so I had to keep saying yes in order to keep the “no” I felt a secret. That is such a messed-up way to live, such an awful way to love.
So these days, I say yes only when I mean yes. It does require some vigilance on my part to make sure I don’t just go on sexual automatic pilot and let people do whatever. It forces me to be really honest with myself and others. It makes me remember that loving myself is also about protecting myself and defending my own borders. I say yes to me.”
— Margaret Cho, “Yes Means Yes”
( http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/ )
21st January 2013
Link reblogged from Sundry Bloody Sundry with 4,648 notes
I want to see a fat girl in a leading role of a film.
I want to see a fat girl in a leading role of a film that isn’t about her weight.
I want to see a fat girl wearing mini skirts or just whatever the fuck she’s comfortable in.
I want to see a fat girl kick some bad guy’s ass.
I want to see…
14th November 2012
La violenza e’ attuata e puo’ essere attuata da qualsiasi forma di vita nei confronti delle altre forme di vita. Penso sia innegabile che tutte ne sono capaci.
La violenza-di-genere invece si riferisce invece agli animali umani ed e’ attuata dagli uomini nei confronti di tutto quanto non sia uomo in quanto, appunto, non-uomo.
La mia lotta personale non e’ per sconfiggere la violenza-qualunque o analizzare perche’, in questa societa’, le persone sono stronze e prevaricatrici. Mi interessa smantellare un sistema, Patriarcato, che veicola, propaga e perdona la violenza-di-genere. SIAMO D’ACCORDO che il patriarcato favorisce e sponsorizza anche altre forme di violenza, cosi’ come credo siamo d’accordo che la violenza-qualunque NON sia un’invenzione del patriarcato. Ma credo che la violenza-DI-GENERE sia invece strettamente correlata al dominio culturale e materiale-fisico che gli uomini hanno avuto, hanno, e intendono continuare ad avere.
Sappiamo tutt* che NON ogni uomo partecipa al Patriarcato, ma ogni uomo che NON combatte il Patriarcato vi contribuisce e lo rafforza che lo voglia o no. Questo vale anche per chiunque non sia un uomo, quindi anche* le donne (*scusate la confusione ma io contemplo piu’ di due generi sebbene non ci sia ancora un nome per tutti), per cui e’ giusto dire che ogni donna che NON combatte il patriarcato rafforza il patriarcato, ma tuttavia **NON sono le donne ad attuare la violenza di genere**.
Non c’e’ bisogno di ribadire OGNI VOLTA che non tutti gli uomini sono maschilisti. Farlo, per assurdo, contempla e da’ forza a una delirante idea di misandria che invece non esiste. Certo, non tutti gli uomini sono maschilisti e non tutti gli uomini sguazzano nel patriarcato (sebbene restino comunque privilegiati), ma non e’ prioritario in alcun modo spendere energie a elencare le eccezioni ogni volta che viene attaccato l’unico gruppo (non gli individui) che ha il potenziale per attuare la violenza-di-genere e non fa niente per fermarla. Il gruppo, non gli individui, ok?. Ogni uomo veramente antisessista che si senta chiamato in causa ogni volta che una femminista attacca “gli uomini” deve secondo me rivedere di brutto il proprio percorso antisessista.
Il motivo per cui io non accetto e non digerisco questi nuovi percorsi di dialogo con i sostenitori e le sostenitrici del patriarcato e’ perche’ la ritengo una strategia sbagliata- Peggio, a considero addirittura nociva per la lotta.
Non ritengo che il cambiamento avverra’ o possa avvenire cercando di comprendere queste persone e usare un linguaggio piu’ equilibrato.
Il cambiamento avviene assicurandosi che le persone che ancora collaborano con il patriarcato pur convinte che sia il nemico, smettano di farlo e acquisiscano i mezzi per difendersene e contrattaccare. A quel punto i maschilisti, cosi’ come in un sacco di posti e momenti storici e’ stato per i razzisti, saranno travolti. Il cambiamento avviene prima smantellando le insicurezze che ci CI hanno inculcato per mantenerci deboli e complici, che cercando di smantellare le sicurezze che GLI hanno inculcato per mantenerli forti.
Considero il dialogo con un/una anti-femminista un grave errore perche’ offre solo il fianco a strumentalizzazioni. Continuamente, sempre, e sara’ sempre cosi’ (si e’ visto anche di recente mi pare). Non nego che possa essere utile sul piano PERSONALE, ma sul piano collettivo e della lotta lo ritengo un grave sbaglio che indebolisce tutt*.
Quindi per come la vedo io non si tratta di difendere le donne a tutti i costi. Le donne possono essere stronze e spesso lo sono (come qualsiasi altro essere vivente). Le donne possono essere violente e spesso lo sono (come qualsiasi altro essere vivente). Credo che lo sappiamo tutt*.
Ma le donne non praticano la violenza di genere ne’ la misandria, e ogni volta che questo concetto viene ambiguizzato (anche involontariamente) in pubblico (!) si rafforza il patriarcato. Potrei non intendermene di femminismo, ma me ne intendo di patriarcato e so di cosa si nutre. E come e’ abilissimo a sfruttare le aperture e manipolare l’auto-coscienza altrui.
Quindi, attent* alle parole che usate. E a come esprimete e esternate i vostri importantissimi e rispettabilissimi percorsi personali. All’interno hanno un valore. All’esterno completamente un’altro.
Io la penso cosi’. E concludo come ho cominciato.
La violenza e’ praticata da tutt*
La violenza di genere e’ praticata dagli uomini. Magari tra tremila anni sara’ in un altro modo, ma in questa era geologica e’ cosi’ e non ripeterlo a chiare lettere ogni volta e’ per me un grave errore. Poi, dopo averlo ribadito, possiamo parlare delle eccezioni.
1st June 2012
Link reblogged from Tastes like a tear with 4 notes
This might be controversial, or simply disagreed on, but I still think it deserves to be shared. The author is a young Australian sports model and fitness professional named Natasha Hutchinson.
“Women need iron.
Not the vitamin. The barbell.
We are trained by the world around us to have fucked up ideas about our bodies; iron unfucks them.
We are supposed to be as thin as possible, as small as possible, perhaps until we disappear; iron teaches us to take up space.
We are taught that the only good direction for the scale to go is down, and to agonize ritualistically when it goes up. Ironteaches us the power of gaining weight for strength and gives us another weight to care about – the weight we are lifting.
We are taught to eat small amounts daintily and treat food as sin and pleasure. Iron teaches us to eat heartily, to see food as fuel for life, and to seek out nutritious food rather than avoiding sinful food.
We are taught to think of our bodies as decorative, an object to be looked at; iron teaches us to think of our bodies as functional, our own active selves, not passive objects for another’s regard.
Whole industries exist to profit by removing from us our confidence and selling it back as external objects. Iron gives us confidence from within through progressive training and measurable achievements.
We are taught to be gentle and hide our strength or even to cultivate charming physical weakness until we start to believe our bodies are weak. Iron teaches us how strong we can be.”
10th May 2012
Photo with 1,082 notes
TWEET THIS YOU SMALL-MINDED MOTHERFUCKER!
“You’re a dirty carpet munching cunt that belongs in my kitchen, washing my dishes and cock. Write a poem about that….”
So I took his advice and wrote the poem.
you are a rotting dick/an ass wipe
an open sore existing
among the worst tumors that plague humanity
you are an apology someone should have made
today you remain
a very good reason abortions should be legal
to every woman who finds herself
carrying the figurative fetus of your fetid misogyny
get the fuck out of my womb
you hater of your own origin
you forget you came from some woman’s cunt
the pussy you so deride
provided path for you
to get here spewing such sick soliloquy
makes a good argument for capital punishment
only I hold myself
accountable to a more compassionate code of ethics
so I refrain from advocating
for the archaic quartering of you
I will also resist the urge
to imagine you shackled in sequestered servitude
kneeling at the altar of some woman’s holy cunt
washing her feet with your mouth
I would not wish her the degradation
of your tongue on her flesh
your feet on her floors
you are the thing I will spend my entire life
trying to protect my daughter
from/the slime of your ignorance
the sweat of your hate
coward that you are
hiding behind the intangible shroud of the virtual
your keystrokes are the only ones with any power
unimportant little man
you splatter the male identity
with the putridity you exude
rotting apple/gonorrheal wound
refusing to heal/you would have us conclude
that most people with penises are like you
but for the stellar examples of men in my life
I would think you the norm
your actions would inform the love I cradle
for the small boys in my circle
how to be better than the monster you are
far and away
fairytales and fiction pervade what they know of vaginas
valuing virginity over the virtue of being fair
bravado over advocating for equality
you make me wish I had a son
to personally prove your antithesis possible
you frighten me
with your ability to keep breathing
your inclination to replicate
to keep pressing the boot of your discrimination
upon the necks of generation after generation
the only thing that prevents me from raising arms
and going guerilla after you with guns
is our collective dedication
to the eradication of your kind
across all the borders of feminism
and spaces held wire against the throat of equality
women resist heart and body
cunts and collarbones
kitchens and bedrooms
we rebuke all you offer as fact
the act of tweeting something does not make true
you are only a narrow opinion
one hundred forty characters/your cavalry
is not nearly as committed as mine
you and your cronies were contrived
to keep the best parts of us broken
these poems you and your drones continue to encourage
these litanies I continue to compose
will stand as evidence your crumbling tyranny
time will hold your actions
as it was with every disease before you
the strongest/most admirable parts of being human
will keep adapting/over and over
history has already shown us
what doesn’t kill us/will make our resistance stronger
the uphill task of surviving you as pandemic
can only make our species more immune
- [StaceyAnn Chin]
(Please note everything above belongs to StaceyAnn Chin. She wrote it all, and it’s her in the photo).
24th April 2012
Link with 5 notes
After a stranger exposed himself to her on her trolley ride home from work last week, a 24-year-old Boston woman confronted her wrongdoer in exactly the righteous sort of way that most us only ever have the opportunity to rehearse angrily in front of a bathroom mirror — she forced him to his feet and shamed him in front of the other passengers right up until police came to haul him away. (click title for article and video).
23rd April 2012
Link reblogged from Foggy Railroads with 98,335 notes
As long as women’s natural body hair is called disgusting and inappropriate while men’s isn’t, I am a feminist.
As long as I can’t watch an episode of a popular sitcom without having to sit through multiple sexist comments or “jokes”, I am a feminist.
As long as women have to face the rational fear of being sexually assaulted every time they walk home past dark while men don’t, I am a feminist.
As long as misogyny exists in any country in this world, I am a feminist.
As long as women are being raped, then stoned to death or forced to marry their rapist, I am a feminist.
As long as companies promote men to manager when there are women who are equally as or better qualified, because they find that men look more authoritative, I am a feminist.
As long as women (her choice of clothes, her friendly nature, her weakness, her choice to drink alcohol) get blamed when men rape them, I am a feminist.
As long women’s opinions on online social networks are dismissed with phrases like “tits or gtfo”, “get back to the kitchen”, “are you pms’ing?”, I am a feminist.
As long as dressing like a woman is degrading for men and as long as men are insulted with phrases like “you throw like a woman”, clearly implying that being like a woman is shameful, I am a feminist.
As long as both men and women are expected to work, but taking care of children and the household are still largely considered a woman’s job, I am a feminist.
As long as boys and girls are treated differently, expected to act differently, and surrounded by different toys and colours from the day they are born, I am a feminist.
As long as topless women aren’t allowed in public unless they’re on the cover of a men’s magazine, I am a feminist.
As long as women who have sex frequently are generally told they are “sluts”, “lacking self-respect” and “lacking morals” by both men and women, while men who frequently have sex are “just being men” and it’s “natural for them”, I am a feminist.
As long as there are places where women have to pay more for health insurance than men, I am a feminist.
As long as men experience situations with equal gender representation as female-dominated, and don’t consider a group discussion equal unless there are significantly more men than women participants (as has been proven), I am a feminist.
As long as there are men who think it’s their wife or girlfriend’s duty to have sex with them whenever they want, I am a feminist.
As long as the word feminism (“the movement aimed at equal rights for women”) has a negative connotation, I am a feminist.
As long as misogynistic people exist, I am a feminist.
22nd April 2012
Quote with 4 notes
Okay, here’s the thing. Good-natured people can be sexually coercive. The worst part is that you won’t even realize when you’ve done something wrong. Please, everyone, get involved in active consent ethics and learn to not only communicate, but learn body language and signs that someone may be uncomfortable. It’s a failing on behalf of many patriarchal institutions, but it doesn’t have to be this way. I have been coerced by people who had no ill-intent whatsoever, who were my friends, good friends, and they had no idea what they did wrong. Educate yourself on consent ethics and partner care & communication. It will make everything so much better, I promise. And it’s everyone who needs to do this, not just certain people (Though I’m sure certain people need it moreso than others).
— A special woman I know and love.
13th March 2012
Quote with 10 notes
Lets make this CLEAR! I am polysexual. PERIOD. Dont request that I place myself in any other box. I am not taken. Will not be “taken” ever again. My soul is free. I love freely, and if you question this in a negative manner or have something negative to say about it, then you can go ahead and remove yourself from my life.
I am sick of defending myself, being called a slut, or bi, or whatever label they have for me. Bottom-line, I love. I love freely. I didnt get a say so in the “traditional rules” of “love”. All the punishments and rules that govern you, your heart, your life under those rules I had NO SAY SO IN THEM. FUCK THAT! I control me. I create my own fate. I am NOT living by some patriarchal white fucks rule on how I use my bed, direct my heart, or my body. Fuck tradition. Fuck rules. I have this ONE life, and I will live it as I DAMN WELL PLEASE. This is not a fucking test run. And I will not be told who, what, where, why, and when I am allowed to listen to myself. I’m over that. I’ve been over that for some time. I just had a lover threaten if they found a man in my life. WTF? “I’m ok with women, but I’ll kill a man”. Really? A threat? No thanks, you can peace the fuck out. I’m me. Always will be. Always have been. DEUCES! I love. I’m a lover. Label me what you please (slut, gets around, confused, player, what the fuck ever)… I’m living, and by MY rules, as this is MY life, and what goes on in my heart, body, and bed is MY business. PERIOD. ♥ Thats what is going on. And this from a “lover” who supposedly “accepted me 100%”. Funniest shit, I’ve ONLY been dedicating myself to them as that is how I feel right now, but I needed some ME time… literally just ME, and I got that threat. Very nice to wake to. So, I’m making my statement clear. To the world. Official. This is me. Love me or hate me. And if it is the latter, GET THE FUCK TO STEPPING, as NOT ONE FUCK WILL BE GIVEN AS YOU AND YOUR NEGATIVE PATRIARCHAL ASS WALKS AWAY… end of rant. HAH! ♥’s and kisses kittens. Please and thanks. ♥ Nikkita!
— - [The mighty Nikkita Oh]